iheartjakob

This is not Julia's secret crush blog!! I was forced just like everyone else to pick sides after THE BREAK UP & this is just the way I went. But I heart Julia to! OMG!! Of course I do!! If Jakob never comes back maybe I will have to switch sides. Whatever. BFD. Julia does have cool friends. Suburban Fashionista Mary & Miss smarty pants Megs. Such a know it all.

Whatever. If you want to email me to trade favorite stories about Jakob or Julia or even Mary (if we have to) you can reach me at omgiheartjakob at gmail dot com

Archive

Jul
8th

Tue

I See The Dopeness, You Only See The Wackness

itsbedtime:

toomuchawesome:

Contrary to the Katherine Heigl-type neurotic, beautiful, and responsible female lead, [Olivia] Thirby plays the indie-standard ideal female, what I like to call the “Quirky Aggressive”. She’s pretty without makeup, wears Converse, and says quirky and aggressive things.

SIGNS YOU ARE A QUIRKY AGGRESSIVE FEMALE:

#1.) You do drugs or you like talking about how you do drugs.

#2.) You use unique, half-witty, half-annoying sayings like “Dudesies!”, “For YAYs” and make jokes about “Rim Jobs” because you are so cool with your sexuality.

#3.) On dates, rather than awkwardness, you manifest your wants/needs/insecurities through aggressive lines like “So when are you going to kiss/fuck/lick my C???”

(Advice: Quirky Aggressives are only beloved in indie films. Please do not try to be one in real life. Do not make rim job and poop jokes on dates. For the first few months your dude will be all like, “OMG, you’re so cool and funny! You’re not like other girls!” because you said something about giving “Nietzche a BlowJ” or some Quirky Aggressive-esque bullshit, but then after about six months the charm wears off and you find yourself being hushed in public places or cringed at just for telling your old, beloved rim job joke! You are being silenced, Quirky Aggressive. But Quirky Aggressives won’t be silenced so they keep going, because, like, they’re quirky and aggressive, and shutting up for a dude is so antithetical to their personality…)

One would think I find this offensive because I perhaps behave this way myself. I don’t really, maybe kinda like… #1 and half of #2 applies… but I actually just find this offensive because it may as well just say “No one will like you if this is how you are, so just shut up and be a good girl, OK?”

Everyone should just do whatever the fuck they want… unless what they want is to write judgemental and close-minded things like this.

EDIT: And I should say, for the record, that I normally enjoy this tumblr and what I know of the person behind it. No vendetta, I’m just feeling back.

Sometimes Defamer/Gawker needs to have its nose rubbed in its own big steaming pile of poo that they call their opinions.

Jul
7th

Mon

maryrambin:

“I Love Me Some Macaroni.” —My Legs

Not quite sure what that has to do with the handbag. Hmmm

maryrambin:

My eyes are now swollen shut after watching this movie. I cried the ENTIRE time.

That visual now officially makes this film the best comedy of all time.

Jul
6th

Sun

stylebytom:

A day out in the mountains is always fun to dress up for. I prefer a good house party, and it’s usually inevitable we end up at my wife’s parents’ house or my parents’ house.

Last night I was determined to stay in and catch up on work, laundry (and) running playlists.

I was ready to dance! And I have amazing style. The other day I walked in with a new book I love. (BTW, books are looking more trendy these days.)

Head To Toe:

Lacoste polo (stunning on me!)

GAP shorts

I love clothes that you throw on and instantly have a great outfit. Awesome choice Tom!

OMG! OMG! Tom almost reminds me of Jakob. Just a lot funnier and more self aware. Okay. Wait. Focus J~~ulia~~(whatever my name is) and get to your point. Books are kinda trendy but any girl blessed with only half a brain will tell you that magazines are way better. There are plenty of pics to break up the words and, more importantly, they help guide people who write fashion blogs on what to say is trendy. That way if it turns out wrong it was never an original idea in the first place.

maryrambin:

I was truly convinced I wasn’t going to Pink Elephant last night….I mean without Julia there would be no VIP table.

But then, everyone was in the kitchen dancing, chugging cheap beer, and acting slightly homoerotic, and I couldn’t help myself. I went! I was wearing this until about 5 minutes before we left. Because bitches, it only takes 5 minutes to look perfect. Every. Time.

Definitely not the best decision (I had to teach spin at 7:30am this morning.) I just wanted to make it official and mention for the 100th time I teach spin. It was just as I expected it to be. Cocaine flowing freely from the bathrooms, sweaty NYC guys cheating on their girlfriends, & women all saying they didn’t want to be there but are deathly afraid of being single. These clubs are all the same. Whether in New York, the Hamptons, Vegas, Miami…hmmm, really the only cities I know how to spell, the nightlife looks and sounds the same. Okay, I’m jaded, don’t look too orange & have a weave. Hopefully no one will notice.

We did have fun, but now that everyone is headed back to the city, I am hoping to focus on work (stop laughing!!) and regaining my healthy lifestyle(seriously stop laughing), because the 4 of you who really believe that BS & still read my blog have to have something to hold on to. That & their paycheck. Gary makes the BEST hamburger and I can never say no :) I’ll just schedule another colonic. :-/…

maryrambin:

A night out in the Hamptons is always fun to dress up for because no one EVER does. Such hicks out here. I prefer a good house party of one plus two bottles of wine, but it’s usually inevitable we end up at Dune or Pink Elephant. Now I had said a certain style of shirt was horribly out of style in an earlier blog. You can count these two clubs in the same category but, alas, I can not help myself from not practicing what I preach & doing cheesy things.

Last night I was determined to stay in and catch up on work, laundry, spin playlists. But then I figured it was just as easy to jerk off the guy who was chugging Budweiser Select in my earlier video and have him do it all for me. I wonder if they will play the new Girl Talk album Night Ripper that Julia has been raving about?

Head To Toe:

French Connection dress (stunning on her!)

Nine West shoes

Cartier watch

I love dresses that you throw on and instantly have a great 2004 flashback outfit. Awesome retro choice Ash!

maryrambin:

Attention: George Bush is a shitty President, people with fake orange tans look really, really dumb, & embroidery and screen printed crosses, skulls, flowers, whatever, are no longer in style guys.

Brought to you by the “unless you had joined the Taiban last year & didn’t know” style files.

Jul
5th

Sat

juliaallison:

The hills are alive with the sound of ~~music~~ mediocrity
The songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of ~~music~~ mediocrity

maryrambin:

Today’s fashion tip is using your dog as a fashion accessory. Your pet can be used to either cover your belly when in a two piece and at the same time he can be placed just right so that your tits are pushed up. The third, final, and most important tip is to use your pet to distract from your hammer toes.

juliaallison:

Which one is the Lilly?

A.) No one gives a shit

B.) No ones gives a damn

C.) No ones gives a fuck

D.) All of the above